For several years I worked as a writers' assistant on TV shows. Basically the primary job is to type on a computer (which has a screen that all of the writers in the room can watch), either taking story notes or taking directions to edit a script.
One morning while I sat at the computer in the writers' room, the writers were chatting away, chatting which, as an assistant, you're pretty much supposed to stay out of -- but you still have to listen, as at any moment one of the writers might say the funniest line the world has ever heard or come up with a genius story twist or idea and if you don't capture it verbatim, you have failed at your job.
For me, that was one of the hardest things about working as an assistant -- there's no such thing as excelling as an assistant. If you do everything right, if you go above and beyond, you're just doing your job. The paradox is that most people who are entertainment assistants actually want to be doing a creative job, and the assistant job is a way to make contacts and build experience to make the leap to the creative job -- but if you are a really great assistant, instead of giving you that chance to get ahead, you boss is likely instead to thwart you because hell, you're a good assistant, and he doesn't want to have to hire another. So the target? Be a good assistant, but not too good.
Anyhow, back to that morning. The writers are prattling on, and then one of them starts talking about their child's upcoming and very important upcoming preschool interview.
I've always felt that people put way too much emphasis on their little kids getting in to the "right" school. I grew up in a small town, went to that small town public school system (with a 50% drop out rate, by the way) for K-12, and then went on to an Ivy League school. I feel confident that no matter what school I'd gone to, I still could/would have ended up at the same college. I went to Whatever preschool, what's with the freaking out over a preschool interview?
Yet here I was, highly educated and skilled American worker, smarter than anyone else in the room (though there are many very academically smart writers I've worked with, but not on this particular day), and I was working as a less-than-gruntled assistant. What the hell?
Well, it was then that I realized something. That writer's kid is likely pretty average, ok, benefit of the doubt, above-average, but not someone whose toddler brilliance will make your jaw drop. But their parents have very high hopes for them; and the best way to make sure those dreams come true is to make sure that they give their child absolutely every possible advantage, build them the best resume you can imagine, hire tutors and trainers and take them to museums and buy them books and basically hustle their asses off, anything to make them stand out from the pack so they can get into an Ivy League college.
I was in the same boat as that kid.
I was working as a writers' assistant because I wanted to be a writer. I made the somewhat Faustian bargain to work as an assistant in exchange for connections and exposure and the chance to make the leap to writer. But there are many working writers who didn't take that path -- they wrote some great samples, got an agent, got a job, and were off and running.
But although I had been an academic superstar, I wasn't a writing superstar. I was average, hey, benefit of the doubt, above average. But I didn't drop jaws. And just like that kid, I was going to have to use every connection, hustle every moment, build the best resume I could, because now I was just part of the pack.
I should quit typing and schedule my daughter's preschool interview...
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Make Canadian $$$$!
Yes, it's prime time for us southern gringos to get off our lazy asses and go to where the real money's being made -- Canada!
The whole illegal immigration issue (it doesn't ever actually rise to the level of a "debate," unfortunately) and Americans' tribalistic "Mexicans are ruining America" complaints are a bunch of bullshit. I don't think Americans have the perspective they need to understand what's actually going on.
Let's say you can't find work as a web developer -- the way the economy is, that's not really much of a stretch -- but if you could, you'd make $75,000 a year. Not a bad deal, assuming you live somewhere where a starter house isn't tipping the million-dollar scale.
But you have a friend who has a great lead for you -- in fact, has a job already lined up for you -- and all you have to do is go up to Canada and start working. Problem is, the Canadians have made it illegal for you to take this job right now. They say they already have plenty of native Canadian web developers to do the work.
But it's clear there are tons of web developer jobs in Canada, and none of those Canadians are taking them -- they like ice-skating too much, and they can't bear to be cramped up in front of a computer when they could be out zipping around the frozen ice. And here's the kicker:
...They'll pay you $600,000 a year.
You go up there and work, and send the money back to your family in the US -- can you imagine the stuff you could own? The houses? The cars? No worries about paying for college, or even for retiring -- hell, you could retire plenty early!
And there are already ten million Americans working illegally up there, raking in a half-mil a year! What the hell are you doing unemployed in America? Sure, they're talking about building a wall, but how high does that wall have to be to keep you away from $600,000?! And if they catch you, they'll just send you back home to your family (or dump you in Montana), no big deal.
See you in Ottawa!
$600,000? Really? Well, in 2005, a Whirlpool exec told the NYT that "We may pay $23 an hour in Clyde, including benefits, versus $3 in Mexico versus $1 in China". So take your $75K and multiply it by 8, and there you go.
Americans have a problem with Latin American immigrants for one fundamental reason. They're different. Americans have had problems with every group of people who've come to this country; the Irish, the Italians, the Chinese, the Japanese, the Russians, the Latin Americans. Did those waves of immigrants sink the country? No, they made it the incredible place that it is today.
I believe that if you want to come to this country to find a better life, if you want to work, and you're willing to do whatever job we'll throw at you, damn it, you have a right to be here. So, hope to see you all soon! That includes you, Canada.
The whole illegal immigration issue (it doesn't ever actually rise to the level of a "debate," unfortunately) and Americans' tribalistic "Mexicans are ruining America" complaints are a bunch of bullshit. I don't think Americans have the perspective they need to understand what's actually going on.
Let's say you can't find work as a web developer -- the way the economy is, that's not really much of a stretch -- but if you could, you'd make $75,000 a year. Not a bad deal, assuming you live somewhere where a starter house isn't tipping the million-dollar scale.
But you have a friend who has a great lead for you -- in fact, has a job already lined up for you -- and all you have to do is go up to Canada and start working. Problem is, the Canadians have made it illegal for you to take this job right now. They say they already have plenty of native Canadian web developers to do the work.
But it's clear there are tons of web developer jobs in Canada, and none of those Canadians are taking them -- they like ice-skating too much, and they can't bear to be cramped up in front of a computer when they could be out zipping around the frozen ice. And here's the kicker:
...They'll pay you $600,000 a year.
You go up there and work, and send the money back to your family in the US -- can you imagine the stuff you could own? The houses? The cars? No worries about paying for college, or even for retiring -- hell, you could retire plenty early!
And there are already ten million Americans working illegally up there, raking in a half-mil a year! What the hell are you doing unemployed in America? Sure, they're talking about building a wall, but how high does that wall have to be to keep you away from $600,000?! And if they catch you, they'll just send you back home to your family (or dump you in Montana), no big deal.
See you in Ottawa!
$600,000? Really? Well, in 2005, a Whirlpool exec told the NYT that "We may pay $23 an hour in Clyde, including benefits, versus $3 in Mexico versus $1 in China". So take your $75K and multiply it by 8, and there you go.
Americans have a problem with Latin American immigrants for one fundamental reason. They're different. Americans have had problems with every group of people who've come to this country; the Irish, the Italians, the Chinese, the Japanese, the Russians, the Latin Americans. Did those waves of immigrants sink the country? No, they made it the incredible place that it is today.
I believe that if you want to come to this country to find a better life, if you want to work, and you're willing to do whatever job we'll throw at you, damn it, you have a right to be here. So, hope to see you all soon! That includes you, Canada.
Friday, May 04, 2007
The Lucky Charms
One morning in my college dining hall, I had a Revelation. Yes, with a captial 'R'. I was reared in a non-religious home, had been to church with friends, but certainly had never taken communion. Or had I?
As I ate my bowl of Lucky Charms cereal, I thought about how the marshmallow "Lucky Charms" had changed over the years, introducing new "marbits" such as the Purple Horseshoe and oddly a-lucky Red Balloon. But then I noticed something I'd never thought about before: sitting there amid the brightly colored Yellow Moons and Green Clover was a little innocuous piece of grain cereal... in the shape of the lowercase Greek "alpha".
Weird. Who'd choose that for a cereal shape? Not that it was any more incongruous than a balloon, though clearly more challenging to manufacture than a round thing. I started looking through the other cereal pieces, and I discovered:
a cross
a bell
a tree
a three-leafed clover
an alpha
What did all of these pieces have in common?
a cross: the Crucifix
a bell: a church bell
a tree: a Christmas tree
a three-leafed clover: St. Patrick's symbol of the father, son, and holy ghost
an alpha: the symbol of early Christians, a fish shape, now seen most often on the trunks of cars.
Then came the Revelation: the marshmallows weren't the "lucky charms" -- the cereal bits were.
Cloaked in the simple mythology of "charms," symbols of the moon, star, four-leafed clover, diamond, and horse shoe, were Christian "charms".
I don't know specifics about the person who designed the cereal bits while the marketing department was testing out all of their different marshmallow shapes, but in reading the wikipedia article, I have a theory:
Originally, Lucky Charms was prototyped as having grain cereal with uniform white marshmallows. Only after some testing did they determine that (they could create, and that) people really wanted colored marshmallows in fun shapes. So I believe what happened is that Lucky Charms was, in fact, designed with the grain shapes as being the actual charms. But these Christian charms were eclipsed by the more popular (and non-sectarian) marshmallow shapes. However, they didn't change the grain shapes to uniform pieces -- so Lucky Charms has always retained its Christian, and generally overlooked, roots.
In this sense, Lucky Charms has followed the same path as many holidays -- St. Patrick's Day is a celebration of St. Patrick, the man who Christianized Celtic Ireland -- but nowadays, we just pinch people not wearing green and get drunk. Same fate for Christmas and Easter -- Santa and the Easter Bunny are the marketing marshmallows that steal the spotlight from Jesus' whole-grain goodness.
As I ate my bowl of Lucky Charms cereal, I thought about how the marshmallow "Lucky Charms" had changed over the years, introducing new "marbits" such as the Purple Horseshoe and oddly a-lucky Red Balloon. But then I noticed something I'd never thought about before: sitting there amid the brightly colored Yellow Moons and Green Clover was a little innocuous piece of grain cereal... in the shape of the lowercase Greek "alpha".
Weird. Who'd choose that for a cereal shape? Not that it was any more incongruous than a balloon, though clearly more challenging to manufacture than a round thing. I started looking through the other cereal pieces, and I discovered:
a cross
a bell
a tree
a three-leafed clover
an alpha
What did all of these pieces have in common?
a cross: the Crucifix
a bell: a church bell
a tree: a Christmas tree
a three-leafed clover: St. Patrick's symbol of the father, son, and holy ghost
an alpha: the symbol of early Christians, a fish shape, now seen most often on the trunks of cars.
Then came the Revelation: the marshmallows weren't the "lucky charms" -- the cereal bits were.
Cloaked in the simple mythology of "charms," symbols of the moon, star, four-leafed clover, diamond, and horse shoe, were Christian "charms".
I don't know specifics about the person who designed the cereal bits while the marketing department was testing out all of their different marshmallow shapes, but in reading the wikipedia article, I have a theory:
Originally, Lucky Charms was prototyped as having grain cereal with uniform white marshmallows. Only after some testing did they determine that (they could create, and that) people really wanted colored marshmallows in fun shapes. So I believe what happened is that Lucky Charms was, in fact, designed with the grain shapes as being the actual charms. But these Christian charms were eclipsed by the more popular (and non-sectarian) marshmallow shapes. However, they didn't change the grain shapes to uniform pieces -- so Lucky Charms has always retained its Christian, and generally overlooked, roots.
In this sense, Lucky Charms has followed the same path as many holidays -- St. Patrick's Day is a celebration of St. Patrick, the man who Christianized Celtic Ireland -- but nowadays, we just pinch people not wearing green and get drunk. Same fate for Christmas and Easter -- Santa and the Easter Bunny are the marketing marshmallows that steal the spotlight from Jesus' whole-grain goodness.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
the political extremes
I just finished Barack Obama's book, "The Audacity of Hope." His politics seem liberal, but with an expressed understanding of why people disagree with him. Reading his book made me reconsider some of my own political views -- views that fall into the category of "culture war."
Obama believes that although church and state are separated by our constitution, it should not have to mean that the two are completely severed. If Alcoholics Anonymous is the most successful way of treating alcoholism, even though it requires surrendering yourself to a higher power -- shouldn't the government consider supporting it? Or if all of the public schools in an area are failing their students, yet the local Catholic school is succeeding, are vouchers for private parochial education really a bad idea for those students?
These issues that hinge on constitutional interpretation -- separation of church and state, the right to an abortion, the right to bear arms -- have greatly polarized our political society. The reason? I believe it's because our constitution is the fundamental guide to our government, yet as a living document, it is always being reinterpreted in the courts. And because of the power of legal precedent, not to mention the focused power of the Supreme Court, each side of a constitutional argument is fighting tooth and nail not to give any ground, for fear of a landslide and a complete erosion of their position.
Virtually no one wants late-term abortions. If you've already spent six months carrying a baby and now you decide you want an abortion, it's really too late. But the legal argument makes abortion advocates afraid to support such a ban.
The NRA vehemently opposes any piece of legislation, however sensible, that restricts access to guns. Again, in defending a principle, they refuse to give any ground.
People have a right to their own beliefs and their own principles. Let's say you like Thai food. Great. But if every time you get together with your three friends and you demand that you all go out for Thai food, even though Brendan is vegan and they put fish sauce in everything, and if your friends don't go out for Thai, you just ditch them and go reheat yesterday's panang curry, you're just being a phenomenal pain in the ass.
But forget your three friends -- we live in a society of three hundred million people. Try getting them all to eat Thai for every meal.
Helping other Americans is more important than defending your principles to the death. I know you know in your heart that you're right, and you probably are. But acknowledging that your principles can't fix every situation will go further towards making the country better in the end.
Obama believes that although church and state are separated by our constitution, it should not have to mean that the two are completely severed. If Alcoholics Anonymous is the most successful way of treating alcoholism, even though it requires surrendering yourself to a higher power -- shouldn't the government consider supporting it? Or if all of the public schools in an area are failing their students, yet the local Catholic school is succeeding, are vouchers for private parochial education really a bad idea for those students?
These issues that hinge on constitutional interpretation -- separation of church and state, the right to an abortion, the right to bear arms -- have greatly polarized our political society. The reason? I believe it's because our constitution is the fundamental guide to our government, yet as a living document, it is always being reinterpreted in the courts. And because of the power of legal precedent, not to mention the focused power of the Supreme Court, each side of a constitutional argument is fighting tooth and nail not to give any ground, for fear of a landslide and a complete erosion of their position.
Virtually no one wants late-term abortions. If you've already spent six months carrying a baby and now you decide you want an abortion, it's really too late. But the legal argument makes abortion advocates afraid to support such a ban.
The NRA vehemently opposes any piece of legislation, however sensible, that restricts access to guns. Again, in defending a principle, they refuse to give any ground.
People have a right to their own beliefs and their own principles. Let's say you like Thai food. Great. But if every time you get together with your three friends and you demand that you all go out for Thai food, even though Brendan is vegan and they put fish sauce in everything, and if your friends don't go out for Thai, you just ditch them and go reheat yesterday's panang curry, you're just being a phenomenal pain in the ass.
But forget your three friends -- we live in a society of three hundred million people. Try getting them all to eat Thai for every meal.
Helping other Americans is more important than defending your principles to the death. I know you know in your heart that you're right, and you probably are. But acknowledging that your principles can't fix every situation will go further towards making the country better in the end.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Your Crazy Family
"The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well." - Joe Ancis
One of my favorite quotes, and one which may start other future articles.
And true, with one exception:
Your crazy family.
Now, if your family is truly crazy, then you may have become aware of the fact at a very young age. But if you're lucky enough to have a standard-grade crazy family, it may not be until you get married or close to it that you realize the truth. Your family is crazy.
It's not your fault. The part of your brain that hears the word "Sprite" and thinks immediately of the soft drink, not the little fairy it's named after, is the same part that doesn't even blink your eyes when your mom ducks as she walks past the microwave because she doesn't want to get exposed to death rays.
You grew up with these crazy people, and for all you know, they're just normal. Then you bring your new significant other home to meet your family. And then they tell you the truth.
And then you realize, gee, it is kinda crazy that your mom never actually says what she wants but always seems to somehow get it. Or that your dad has never stopped cleaning his gun.
Or that (if you're a man) you've never used someone's toilet standing up because your mom would not approve of the (potential) mess.
Or that (if you're a woman) you've never flushed a tampon because your mom (why is it always mom?) didn't want it to get clogged in the pipes, because then dad would have to crawl under the house to open the pipes, and what would come splashing out onto him but your used tampon, now is that what you want to have happen, Miss I-flush-my-tampons-into-my-father's-face?!
See? No need to worry. You're just as crazy as they are.
One of my favorite quotes, and one which may start other future articles.
And true, with one exception:
Your crazy family.
Now, if your family is truly crazy, then you may have become aware of the fact at a very young age. But if you're lucky enough to have a standard-grade crazy family, it may not be until you get married or close to it that you realize the truth. Your family is crazy.
It's not your fault. The part of your brain that hears the word "Sprite" and thinks immediately of the soft drink, not the little fairy it's named after, is the same part that doesn't even blink your eyes when your mom ducks as she walks past the microwave because she doesn't want to get exposed to death rays.
You grew up with these crazy people, and for all you know, they're just normal. Then you bring your new significant other home to meet your family. And then they tell you the truth.
And then you realize, gee, it is kinda crazy that your mom never actually says what she wants but always seems to somehow get it. Or that your dad has never stopped cleaning his gun.
Or that (if you're a man) you've never used someone's toilet standing up because your mom would not approve of the (potential) mess.
Or that (if you're a woman) you've never flushed a tampon because your mom (why is it always mom?) didn't want it to get clogged in the pipes, because then dad would have to crawl under the house to open the pipes, and what would come splashing out onto him but your used tampon, now is that what you want to have happen, Miss I-flush-my-tampons-into-my-father's-face?!
See? No need to worry. You're just as crazy as they are.
The Religion Gene
In "What We Believe but Cannot Prove," edited by John Brockman, the essay by U Mich psych professor Randolph M. Neese, M.D. begins:
"I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure that people gain a selective advantage from believing in things they can't prove."
Religion is an inherently human trait. Even for the most committed rational thinker, the axiom that "There are no atheists in foxholes" still applies. This faith, the belief that we cannot fail because God is on our side, or that we do not need to fear death because we will be cared for in the afterlife, enables acts of great bravery and comforts us in times of great need.
While the universe of human understanding continues to grow, aiding the atheist's argument with each passing year, atheists will always be in the minority. Scientists will never disprove the existence of supernatural force -- precisely because it is just that, super-natural, outside the purvey of the science of nature.
Humans will always find strength and perseverence through faith. Do you agree?
"I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure that people gain a selective advantage from believing in things they can't prove."
Religion is an inherently human trait. Even for the most committed rational thinker, the axiom that "There are no atheists in foxholes" still applies. This faith, the belief that we cannot fail because God is on our side, or that we do not need to fear death because we will be cared for in the afterlife, enables acts of great bravery and comforts us in times of great need.
While the universe of human understanding continues to grow, aiding the atheist's argument with each passing year, atheists will always be in the minority. Scientists will never disprove the existence of supernatural force -- precisely because it is just that, super-natural, outside the purvey of the science of nature.
Humans will always find strength and perseverence through faith. Do you agree?
The Hedgehog
The business book "Good to Great" by Jim Collins contains a chapter, "The Hedgehog Concept," about how the "great" companies found what they could be world-class at and ran with it. This "one big thing" comes at the intersection of three questions:
1. What you can be the best in the world at
2. What drives your economic engine
3. What you are deeply passionate about
The author applies the concept to an individual's career as an analogy, one which resonated strongly with me, as I and many of my gen-X/Y peers are struggling to find our (individualy tailored, of course) "one big thing." The author discusses the difference between a Hedgehog Concept and a "core competence":
"You can have competence at something but not necessarily have the potential to be the best in the world at it.... [M]any people have been pulled or fallen into careers where they can never attain complete mastery and fulfillment. Suffering from the curse of competence but lacking a clear Hedgehog Concept, they rarely become great at what they do."
I haven't formed my own Hedgehog Concept yet, suffering the exact curse that Mr. Collins has defined. But I'm working on breaking it.
What's your Concept? How do you focus your strengths and minimize your weaknesses?
1. What you can be the best in the world at
2. What drives your economic engine
3. What you are deeply passionate about
The author applies the concept to an individual's career as an analogy, one which resonated strongly with me, as I and many of my gen-X/Y peers are struggling to find our (individualy tailored, of course) "one big thing." The author discusses the difference between a Hedgehog Concept and a "core competence":
"You can have competence at something but not necessarily have the potential to be the best in the world at it.... [M]any people have been pulled or fallen into careers where they can never attain complete mastery and fulfillment. Suffering from the curse of competence but lacking a clear Hedgehog Concept, they rarely become great at what they do."
I haven't formed my own Hedgehog Concept yet, suffering the exact curse that Mr. Collins has defined. But I'm working on breaking it.
What's your Concept? How do you focus your strengths and minimize your weaknesses?
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