Your Crazy Family

"The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well." - Joe Ancis

One of my favorite quotes, and one which may start other future articles.

And true, with one exception:

Your crazy family.

Now, if your family is truly crazy, then you may have become aware of the fact at a very young age. But if you're lucky enough to have a standard-grade crazy family, it may not be until you get married or close to it that you realize the truth. Your family is crazy.

It's not your fault. The part of your brain that hears the word "Sprite" and thinks immediately of the soft drink, not the little fairy it's named after, is the same part that doesn't even blink your eyes when your mom ducks as she walks past the microwave because she doesn't want to get exposed to death rays.

You grew up with these crazy people, and for all you know, they're just normal. Then you bring your new significant other home to meet your family. And then they tell you the truth.

And then you realize, gee, it is kinda crazy that your mom never actually says what she wants but always seems to somehow get it. Or that your dad has never stopped cleaning his gun.

Or that (if you're a man) you've never used someone's toilet standing up because your mom would not approve of the (potential) mess.

Or that (if you're a woman) you've never flushed a tampon because your mom (why is it always mom?) didn't want it to get clogged in the pipes, because then dad would have to crawl under the house to open the pipes, and what would come splashing out onto him but your used tampon, now is that what you want to have happen, Miss I-flush-my-tampons-into-my-father's-face?!

See? No need to worry. You're just as crazy as they are.